Polyamory has been a concept in our society for a few decades, although its practice is as old as human beings. In a polyamorous relationship the components maintain a loving and, on many occasions also sexual, bond with various people.
Unlike other non-monogamous relationships, which are mainly based on sex, in polyamory the emotional connection is the central axis of the relationship. As a result of this bond, different situations can occur from less to more commitment: from a platonic love that remains at the level of fantasy, to a solid and consolidated relationship.
Another of the distinctive features of polyamory is that, usually, everyone involved is aware of the situation and their consent is explicit. Thus, infidelity understood as deception does not occur. In fact, polyamorous people argue that their relationships are based on loyalty and are based on deep sincerity.
Polyamory can only occur if people are willing to question and tear down certain conventionalisms deeply rooted in our society. Monogamy, romantic love or feeling love for one person are concepts that polyamorous people question and often transcend.
Self-awareness and personal development
Knowing oneself better is beneficial in all forms of human relationship, as it makes our way of acting more mature and accountable. Polyamorosus are usually conscious people with a high degree of emotional intelligence, which helps them better manage new emotions and situations that have not been experienced before.
Respect for each other’s freedom
Freedom is not an exclusive value of polyamorous couples, but in this type of relationship it has a very important weight. Thus, the polyamorosome desire not to interfere in the freedom of their partners to be themselves, and aspire to unconditionally love the other person with their virtues and flaws.
One of the great differences of polyamory with monogamous relationships is exclusivity. In polyamory it is considered that the other person belongs to no one and is free to act as he sees best, so the feelings of jealousy, which there too, are confronted by the well-being of the relationship.
The different polyamorous experiences that take place throughout the relationship require further adjustments and agreements between members. Therefore, deep and active communication is indispensable for the link between those involved to work.
Different forms of polyamory
There is a primary relationship, which is the one that would amount to a monogamous couple: resources are usually shared and inhabited in the same domicile, with or without children. Added to this situation is the possibility of maintaining relationships with other people, which will be secondary relationships, if they are more durable, and even tertiary relationships if the interaction is episodic.
In this type of relationship, all components occupy the same level, there is no hierarchy. It can occur, for example, between three individuals. It’s what we’d call a “triangular relationship.” However, there is no ceiling for people involved and loving communities can be formed in which all members engage with the rest of the group.
Other non-monogamous forms
In addition to polyamorous relationships, there are other very varied ways of relating in a non-monogamous way. Thus, there are:
Relational anarchics, who prefer not to label their relationships.
Hybrids, in which one member of the couple is monogamous and the other is not.
Swingers, who have sex with people who are not their partner, usually in the presence of this.
In fact, any relationship in which emotional or sexual exclusivity is not practiced will be classified as a non-monogamous relationship.
Possible inconveniences of polyamory
Jealousy. Polyamorous people also feel jealous and insecurities, probably more than the rest because they are more exposed to situations in which they may occur. For this reason, they must learn to recognize, analyze, and relativize them.
Acceptance of others. People who practice polyamory often face the rejection of society, especially friends and family. This can create a major malaise in them and harm self-confidence.
The ruptures. More relationships may involve more fullness and blending, but also more separations and more duels. For this reason, it should be aware that in such relationships pain will be present.
Logistics. From a pragmatic point of view, polyamory can be difficult to manage if one does not know how to organize well. Work, taking the house, taking care of the family and the time for oneself leave little room to maintain different deep bonds with other people.
Polyamory is not a relationship model for everyone. In fact, there are many people who have never been attracted to more than one person at a time, or who have never loved two people at the same time. Instead cambio there are others who experience polyamory since they are right. Each person feels differently and lives their life as coherently as possible.
A mature society should be characterized by the tolerance and acceptance of the binding formulas chosen by its members, provided that they are from the freedom of choice. After all, what should matter the love we choose to live is love itself and not its form.