I feel distant to my partner

Feeling distant to the partner can be the result of many factors. However, it doesn’t always mean that the person no longer wants to be. On this occasion we review some causes of this problem and what to do.

Since there are many feelings involved, it is common that doubts and questions do not always have an immediate answer. But, before you start making hypotheses, it is advisable to examine some of the possible reasons why the couple may feel distant.

The couple’s bond

Studies point out that the couple bond is one of the most important people come to build in their entire lives. It is therefore so important that there is a fluid communication, especially in times of crisis.

Such a bond is much deeper than a simple way of relating. Therefore, a harmony must be established between the process of giving and receiving.

For it to work, it takes several components that influence the well-being of the couple, and these revolve around mutual dedication and considering the needs of the other.

Research tells us that to be happy within a relationship it is important to meet basic needs (food, money, clothing).

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In addition to these, shared entertainment activities and, of course, emotional satisfaction, intimacy and social support are also important. If these components fail, or if only one of the partners meets them, then the relationship goes through a decline.

While it is true that a change in attitude in a partner member could be taken as a sign that things are going wrong, it is also true that other possible causes should be analyzed. Here are  some.

A mature love is being forged

This can occur after the infatuation phase, when all hormones and sensations are in full bloom. When this stage is overcome, it does not mean that love is over, but has gone to a stage of maturity.

Your partner has had a loss

Any loss is a grieving process. You may have lost a loved one, your job, or something else that is meaningful in your life, and you’re feeling deep pain.

If this happens, it is normal for their attitude to change, only that the couple, being the closest person, is the one who usually perceives the changes first. However, this is also not a sign that love is over.

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My partner is distant: possible reasons

Feels under pressure

Whether by studies, work or the same pressures of cohabitation as a couple. In these cases, stress takes over the person and its consequences can be terrible for the relationship.

Constant conflicts

In these scenarios, one of the two members may feel tired of the endless discussions and choose to keep their distance. If so, the couple tends to move away sentimentally from each other in order to avoid arguments.


This is another possible reason why you feel distant to your partner, no matter how painful it may be. In some cases, the member of the unfaithful couple changes schedules, their routines, or begins to hide some issues.

After analyzing these possible causes, if you have managed to identify one that could describe your case, then it is time to move on to the next phase.

Talk to your partner: do it in an assertive way, trying to focus on the facts and not what you believe. Tell him about the specific facts you’ve observed, and without going into controversy, ask him directly what has caused him to change his attitude.

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Be patient: and avoid falling into harassment, either with constant messages, persecutions or invading the limits of your privacy. If you do this, you’d be the one who’d be engaging in pathological behavior or suffering from celotyopia.

Show empathy: if you’ve already talked, and you’ve noticed that your partner is experiencing a difficult time, then put yourself in place and show understanding.

Don’t imitate their attitude: some people, seeing their distant partner, also assume that attitude out of pride. But this only makes the picture worse. Instead, it is rather advisable to create habits to improve the relationship of a partner.

Have self-love: it’s important to develop good self-esteem in this. Many times, it also happens that everything is imagined, that nothing happens, but fears develop for the forms of attachment that are held. If so, you may want to seek psychological support to strengthen your areas of weakness.

When both members go through a crisis in the couple, but wish to remain united, in a healthy way, the relationship can continue and both can feel joy again.

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